One of the things I’ve been focusing on a lot lately is how I can learn to become a better listener to others in my life both personally and professionally. I’ve been familiar with the strategy of “active listening” and have practiced it regularly for many years. But somehow, even when actively listening to another, I still found myself not being fully present sometimes. Let me explain.

For those of you new to active listening, it involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker. This requires us to be mindful, defer judgment, and usually involves paraphrasing back what you’ve heard to ensure that you’ve received the message accurately and fully.

To be sure, practicing active listening has been a wonderful skill to cultivate and one I am still learning to master. Nonetheless, from time to time when practicing listening actively, I found myself concentrating so hard to receive what was being shared that I ultimately ended up “in my head,” and that defeated the whole purpose of the exercise.

If I wanted to get better at listening, I needed to find a new way to relate to the idea of active listening. I needed to find a way to keep myself accountable to staying present and meeting the other where they’re at even when I felt myself checking out or getting lost in my head.

Through my experimentation and research, I came to understand a more complete form of listening, often referred to as deep listening. The concept has been very helpful to me and has greatly improved my communications both personally and professionally. So, I put together a short video to share some of the highlights with you. Take a look.

Ultimately, what I’ve learned when it comes to deep listening is that the only place you can fully receive someone else’s being is through being fully immersed in your own. If am present to the part of me that goes beneath words and mind, then I can receive the part of that person that exists beneath those outer realms too. And in that place, true acceptance, understanding, and compassion can be birthed.

As I said in the video, listening like this is a work in progress for me. Nonetheless, I hope this post at least sparked some curiosity for you to explore how you can show up as a better listener too.

I welcome your thoughts and feedback in the comments below.

Have a blessed day,

Amy