How to Be Good at Arguing

Overall, I am a peacefully oriented person, but when challenged or triggered, I can bring out my fighting gloves and put up quite a fight.

Don’t get me wrong here – the only weapons I’ll ever carry in an argument are my words. But I’ve learned over the years, those can be some of the deadliest weapons around, certainly when it comes to maintaining and nurturing your relationships in life.

Harsh words and the attitude we can hold behind them can be downright toxic to any kind of relationship.

And if you’re at all like me, if and when those harsh words come out, it’s often just an unconscious pattern rooted in fear playing itself out. Rarely is it a forthright effort to manipulate someone else. Most times, we too are a victim of our own fear. It’s so deeply rooted, we sometimes don’t even know it’s there. And then BAM! It rears its ugly head once more.

In and of themselves, arguments aren’t bad things. In fact, they can be catalyst for tremendous growth and healing within one’s self, and they can even be used to bring those in a relationship closer together.

But, we need to be a skillful arguer in order to make this happen. And that might look a little different than you think it does. Let’s take a closer look.

So, there you have it. No one really likes to argue, really. But it does happen and will continue to happen.

What baggage have you been bringing to your arguments? How have you let that baggage impair your ability to use your arguments as a catalyst for furthering your evolution?

In the comments below, please share with me where it is that you get tripped up in your arguments now. How might you take what you’ve learned today to alter that pattern in the future?

Honestly, I think becoming better arguers can actually (and perhaps ironically) be one of the most important things we can do to bring more peace to this planet, and to our lives. How we are in our confrontations speaks volumes about how we’ll be in the rest of our interactions too.

Big love y’all,

Amy 🙂