Shame sucks. With shame, not only does a nasty thought embed itself in your mind and fester, but your body also feels shame through definite and strong physical responses. Uncomfortable ones.
When I have felt shame in the past, it usually is accompanied by a feeling of nausea, a physical desire to run away and hide, and the worst inner dialogue I can imagine. Yuck.
When in the throes of a shame episode, one can find it next to impossible to challenge the negative dialogue and sensations happening in the mind and body. I experienced this recently when my partner and I got an argument. I heard that old worn-out record in my head “I’m not good enough. I’m unlovable.” I also wanted to run away, cry, scream – and get rid of the sick feeling in my stomach.
That is an awful feeling, and one I know a lot of you, if not all of you out there, can relate to.
Fortunately, this time my “shame monster” reared its ugly head, I had a little voice inside that said STOP. A part of me, perhaps a desperate part that was so tired of being beat up by my thoughts, finally said NO MORE. And I found myself starting to question the things that my shame monster was telling me.
And you know what, it worked.
The monster put up a good fight, but in the end, I remained intacted and feeling stronger than before.
In fact, I used very specific questions, and I want to share them with you today.
They may not annihilate your own shame monster forever, but they can be a useful tool to help you re-orient when your monster has arrived in full force. Learn these questions now.
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I know I’ll be visited by my shame monster again from time to time, especially since I’m committed to evolving myself and trying out new and vulnerable things. But these questions have now provided me with a way to relate to the beast within.
I hope they help you to stand up to your shame monster too. Please write in the comments below what truths you uncovered by applying these questions to your shame beliefs.
The more we talk about shame, the less power it has over us.
Sending love sisters,
Amy
2 responses to “Challenging Your Shame”
This is a very timely subject for me. I have been feeling shame around not being more successful in my business. I know enough to know not to hold on to these thought(s) for too long but it feels yucky just the same. So it was great to listen to this video and have specific questions to ask and things to think about. Thank you Amy! xoxo
That’s great Jane. So glad you found it helpful. Questions are SUCH a powerful tool for getting out of the stuck zone and move more fully into our creativity. Keep at it my friend, and it will get easier, and you’ll start to feel stronger in yourself too. Big love! Amy